Dying Inside
by Akrakataastreifa
Summary: Edward left her, and didn't come back, instead choosing to betray her in the biblical sense. But there's something better for Bella than a backstabbing heart breaker- his brother. That said, who's the little girl who's calling her 'mommy?
1. I Betrayal

JPOV

_March the 12__th__, 2007._

JPOV

I walked upstairs to Edward's room, asking him if he'd seen Alice. I had returned early from hunting a while ago, and now couldn't find Alice, my pixie, my soul mate.

I didn't bother knocking. I knew he wasn't doing anything I could interrupt. Ever since he left Bella, he did nothing but mope, although it had gotten better the last few years. It was really getting on my nerves, because his bad mood spread to me, then spread to everyone else, and then I would feel that, too.

I went into his room and froze, not thinking anything at all. I'd found Alice. She was making out with Edward like her life depended on it. And he wasn't resistant at all. In fact, it looked more like he instigated it. He was shirtless; she was in the act of removing her top. I couldn't move, hell, I couldn't breathe. My mind attempted to protect itself by consoling me that it was for the best I didn't need to breathe anyway.

His head jerked up, eyes wide, as he read the rogue thought. Following his sudden lack of attention to her, Alice looked up as well.

"Shit," she whispered. I turned on my heel, completely disgusted with them, and myself. Them, because Edward had left the woman who loved him in an insane attempt to 'protect' her, and then… having an affair with my wife…no, my _ex_-wife, I amended. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and smacked into Emmett. He looked at me oddly, no doubt picking up on the waves of apathy I was sending out.

"Jasper? What's wrong?" he asked.

Just then, Alice ran down the stairs and then stopped, taking in the scene.

"I don't know. Let's ask Alice, shall we?" I said, aiming to wound.

She flinched. "Jasper, I…"

Emmett just seemed more confused than ever.

"How long, Alice?"

"Jasper…" This time it was Edward who spoke. I ignored him; leaving Bella, and now this… Needless to say, I wasn't in the best of moods with him.

"How long?"

"Three and a half years," she whispered, almost so I couldn't hear. Suddenly, I felt a wave of rage. I couldn't tell if it was from me, or from Emmett, who had caught on, and now looked like he wanted to kill something. If he did, I wasn't going to stop him.

"Three years, eight months," Edward corrected her.

I couldn't believe they'd been seeing each other, behind _all_ our backs, without anyone realizing. Without me realizing. Then something clicked.

"Three years and eight months?" My eyes opened wide with outrage. "While you were still with Bella? Why, _brother,_ I do believe that's a new low for you. Fucking hell, for anyone."

Emmett was growling now, and the sound brought Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme running.

"Emmett? Babe?" Rosalie asked, rubbing his arm. Emmett shook her off, and directed his attention to the guilty couple.

"If you two have any idea whatsoever of what's good for you, you will be gone by morning."

Carlisle looked shocked. So did Esme. "Emmett! How can you say such a thing?"

"Easily," he snarled. And then he was gone, a very confused looking Rosalie following.

"Don't listen to him," I said, with an expression of fake kindness. "You don't have to go. You can stay here." My tone hardened. "_I'm_ leaving. Congratulations, you two. I hope you're _very_ happy together."

I didn't bother going to my room to pack anything. There wasn't anything I felt like taking with me. I paused as I walked past Carlisle.

"Tell Emmett and Rose I'll miss them."

And then I was gone.

I had no idea where I was going of course. We had been living in Glens Falls, right in Adirondack Park, NY. All I knew was that I was going pretty much due west. The scenery moved past too quickly for me to absorb any details.

I was numb now, and glad of it. Numb… numbness was good, now. It prevented me from thinking about and analysing what had just happened

I kept running, pushing myself to keep going long after I should have stopped. Eventually I collapsed in the middle of a forest, and just lay there. Not thinking, not hoping, and not wishing. Just existing.

Four more days passed like that. Eventually, I stopped blocking everything out, and finally took in where I was.

In front of me, stood our old house in Forks. I fell to my knees as the pain I had been suppressing overwhelmed me. My body heaved with dry sobs; tears I could never ever let fall.

When I regained control of myself, I became aware that there was another scent all around me. It smelt familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. All I could make out was that it was recent. I breathed in, willing the scent to stay with me. It soothed me, calmed me. And right now, I needed all the soothing I could get.

I stood up again, at peace now, and turned away. It was far too obvious a place for me to stay. Although…

They wouldn't think to look nearby. If I wasn't _here_…

I turned around and started running again, towards Seattle.

BPOV

I was in my dressing room backstage, getting ready for my performance. I picked out a pair of figure hugging black jeans, with four inch heels, and a red PVC bustier. If Charlie was alive, I was sure he would have had a heart attack at the sight of me. But he wasn't, and so he couldn't.

I quite liked the outfit, myself. I was sure Alice would have approved, if she were here. I had turned to the Goth way of dress after Edward had left me, mostly to get shallow people to leave me alone. After a while, I had grown to like dressing like this. I had stopped being _quite_ so scary, and settled for a subdued, elegant style. Except for when I sang at the club I now worked for. They liked the scary. So I gave them scary.

I walked out onstage, grinning at the uproar; they loved me. It was nice, being accepted for who I was, and what I could do. Sadly, this still included being unable to walk across a stable, flat surface without tripping, although it had gotten better in the last few years.

I put my mike on, and started to sing the songs I had picked out earlier today, dancing along.

_I can hear the whistle, military train_

_I was dancing with my baby, in the summer rain_

_I can hear him saying "Oh, love is strange,_

_Come dance with me baby, in the summer rain."_

_I remember the rain pouring down _

_And we poured our hearts out as the train pulled out_

_I can see my baby waving from the train_

_It was the last time that I saw him in the summer rain_

_Oh my love it's you that I dream of_

_Oh my love, since that day_

_Somewhere in my heart I'm always_

_Dancing with you in the summer rain_

_It doesn't matter what I do now_

_Doesn't matter what I say_

_Somewhere in my heart I'm always_

_Dancing with you in the summer rain_

When I finished that song, I waited a moment, graciously accepting the applause, looking out over the audience. One person in particular caught my eye. He was tall, blonde, and extremely pale. It stirred a memory, one that I had locked away. Then it hit me. He looked just like Jasper.

Feeling a smile on my lips, I signalled to my DJ, and told him to play one more song. He tried to protest, but I cut him off with a pleading glance.

"Alright, alright, I'll do it. So pushy," he grumbled as he searched for the right disc.

I moved back to the centre of the stage and started to speak. "Since you're all such lovely people, and I love you all so much, I'll give you one more song, okay?"

Much cheering.

As the pounding music started to play, I didn't lose myself to the music the way I usually did. I was fully aware of where I was, and who I was. I caught myself glancing over to where 'Jasper' was often, hoping he'd recognize the significance of this song, and find it somewhat ironic, as I did.

_I wanna love you but I better not touch_

_I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop_

_I wanna kiss you but I want it too much_

_I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous_

_Poison_

_You're poison running through my veins_

_Poison_

_And I don't wanna break these chains_

I looked back at 'Jasper' only to see him laughing, bent double, clutching his sides.

Smiling, I continued to sing.


	2. II Reunion

BPOV

I left out the back of the club; people always hung around the front, trying to get a glimpse of me. Glancing around carefully for drunken fans, I ran to my car and drove off to collect Annabella.

Annabella was my little sister, only three years old. Charlie had met another woman before I had arrived, Miranda, and they had had Anna together. They got married soon after, and went off on their honeymoon, leaving Anna with me. Charlie and Miranda had never come home; the island they had been visiting had flooded with no survivors. I had been looking after her ever since.

I went to Angela's house. She had married Ben Cheney a few months ago, and was now pregnant. I had kept in touch with her since high school, and she looked after Anna while I worked. I was eternally thankful for this; I didn't like the thought of her sitting in a back room of the club.

I knocked on the door, and tried to be patient. It opened and there stood Angela.

"Not too much trouble, I hope?" I smiled.

"Of course not. You know perfectly well she's _never_ any trouble."

I laughed. "Yeah, but it makes me feel better, checking. How did I end up with this unnaturally perfect child?"

"But it's not a bother looking after her. She's wonderful, and makes good practice too," she confessed, rubbing her abdomen. "Speaking of which, here she is."

I saw she was half asleep, so I picked her up and rested her on my hip.

"Well, if that's all she is to you…" I joked. "I've got to go. Bedtime. Rule number 2234 of '_How to Raise the Perfect Child'_: 'Establish good patterns. Routines and rules are a child's best friend.' See you later, Ange."

"Bye," she called after me.

When we got home, she stirred briefly, and her eyes widened. What she said chilled me.

"Mommy, who the man behind you?"

I stood quickly, pushing the chair back with my knees, and spun around, instinctively protecting Anna with myself. It turned out there wasn't _really_ a need to do so, although I stayed in front of her, just in case.

It was the same man I had seen at the club, the one who I had thought was Jasper. I knew I was wrong then; now I knew it was Jasper. This was confirmed when he spoke.

"A baby, Bella?"

"She's not a baby. She's three."

"Uh huh," Anna chipped in. "Anna free," she said, holding up four fingers.

"That would be _three,_ honey," I corrected her, putting down one of her fingers.

"Free. Better, mommy? Free," she said again.

Jasper laughed. "Cute kid. Anna, her name is?"

"Yes. Short for Annabella."

He raised an eyebrow. "You named your daughter after yourself?"

I gave him a withering glare. Why did everyone have to react like this? "She's not my daughter. And I didn't name her."

He seemed really confused now. "Then why does she call you mommy?"

I sat down, and picked up Anna, placing her on my lap, cuddling her protectively. "Because although I'm not her mother, I raised her, and… I'm the only family she has left; I'm her legal guardian now. Will you excuse me a moment? I have to put her to bed."

"Of course."

I stood again, still holding Anna, and carried her to her bedroom. I tucked her in, and gave her the old teddy bear she'd had her whole life. I turned to go.

"Mommy, wait! You forgot something!"

I feigned confusion, although I knew perfectly well what she was talking about. It was a part of the bedtime ritual. "Forgotten something? I don't think so!"

"Yes you have!"

"Have not!"

"Have too! You forgot song!"

"I did?! How could I forget the song?" I said dramatically, hitting my forehead with one hand.

I sat on the bed next to her, and held her hand as I started to sing the song she had picked out when she was younger. My mother had given me a CD before I moved to Forks and she had been killed, the first Bardot album. I listened to it all the time, as I found it gave me nice memories of home in Phoenix. Anna had always liked this song than the others, becoming more active whenever she heard it. Now it was her lullaby.

_I guess we didn't see_

_It wasn't meant to be_

_But we tried to love each other._

_There was no reason to_

_It's just what we went through_

_Now time has torn us apart_

_Although I told you I loved you_

_And you told me the same_

_A little distance between us_

_How I've noticed a lot has changed_

_I, I ain't missing your love_

_I, I ain't missing your love_

_It's just another day_

_We go our separate ways_

_Without thinking about each other_

_How everything seems new_

_When I see it without you_

_I've been told you feel the same as I do_

_Although I told you I loved you_

_And you told me the same_

_A little distance between us_

_How I've noticed a lot has changed…_

I finished the song quietly; it reminded me so much of Edward. But that happened a lot, because I sang lots of songs, both at the cub, and in everyday life, as well as singing this one every night.

"Good night, honey," I whispered, kissing her on the brow.

I headed back into the kitchen to see Jasper leaning against the bench with an odd expression on his face.

"You have a beautiful voice," he said.

"Thank you," I replied, surprised. He obviously felt it, because he grinned at me a moment later.

"No, really. It's… unlike anything I've heard before. Truly enchanting."

"Knock it off," I said, embarrassed now. Thank _God_ I had gotten the blushing thing under control.

"Do you need to hunt?" I asked.

"Nope," he said. "I wouldn't be here now if I didn't have it under control.

"Actually, could you sing something else?"

"I don't know. What do you want to hear?"

"Something you like," he shot back, catching me off guard.

I ran through a list of songs through my head, trying to find something suitable. Then I thought of a suitable tune, and started to hum the intro, clearing my throat.

_God love and rest my soul_

_With this sundown never ending_

_The feel is gone but you ain't gonna see me fail_

_I am the decadence of your world_

_I am an eider covered in oil_

_Happy hunting, you double faced carnivore_

_Tell me why_

_No heart to cry_

_Hang me high._

_The music is dead, the amen is said__  
__The kiss of faith is what I beg__  
__A loving heart n soul for sale_

_Tell me why_

_No heart to cry_

_Hang me high_

_Leave me be__  
__And cease to tell me how to feel__  
__To grieve, to shield myself from evil__  
__Leave me be__  
__OD of lies is killing me__  
__Romanticide __  
__Till love do me part_

I cut it off there, partly because I thought that would suffice, and partly because I couldn't remember the rest of the words.

"I didn't know you listened to Nightwish."

"I didn't know you'd recognize Nightwish. So…" I coughed gently. "Are the others here?"

"No," he said, suddenly cold. I frowned in confusion. "The others don't know where I am. And that's how it's going to stay, alright?"

"Sure, whatever you say. But there's no need to be rude about it." At this, he cracked a smile.

"Sorry. Actually… speaking about the others… there's something I need to tell you about Edward."

"And that would be?" I prompted him, waving one hand in lazy little circles midair.

"He… damn, how to put it. Alice cheated on me. With Edward."

I was shocked. "_What?_"

"I know, it sounds crazy, but, I caught them together. And then they confessed that they'd been…"

"Together," I nodded.

"Together for nearly _four years._"

My mind was reeling at the time span. "While me and Edward were still together?"

"Yep," he said.

"_Bitch_!" I exclaimed, clapping a hand over my mouth a second too late.

"Mommy?" Anna peeked around her doorway.

"Go back to bed, babybat. And, don't use that word, okay? Mommy didn't mean to."

She yawned and retreated.

Jasper was laughing silently, shoulders shaking.

"Bitch?" He managed. "I tell you they were having an affair behind both our backs and all you have to say is 'bitch'?"

"No, I have lots more. Number one: how the flipping heck did none of you notice?"

"Mind reader and future telling vampire. Not the easiest to catch out."

"Okay. That's understandable. Number two: I really, really hope you got yourself a good divorce lawyer."

"Check," he said with a straight face. I started pacing back and forth in front of him.

"Good. Number three: where are they? Because I want to go tear him up into itty-bitty Edward pieces and then feed them to _rodents_! Or better yet, stake him down and do unimaginable things to him with a cactus and croquet mallet!"

At this, Jasper flinched.

"Oh, how about smearing him with jam, staking him down in the middle of a group of killer ants, and throwing little pickles at him while they eat him alive? Or un… alive, or whatever the heck you vampires are."

Jasper looked very uncomfortable. "Someone seems a little cranky. And I think the proper term for a group of ants is 'army'."

I rolled my eyes at him. "So. Which idea is it to be?"

APOV

"Edward?" I whispered.

"Yes, love?" he whispered back.

"I'm having a really… odd vision."

"What is it?"

"Some goth chick ripping you into bits, and there are lots of squirrels and mice for some reason… no, now the woman is doing something that looks really unpleasant to you with a pot plant and mallet. No, its changed again… you're tied to a killer ants' nest with jam on, and having… little gherkins thrown at you. Does any of this make any sense to you?"

"Nope. What did you hunt today? A deer that someone was feeding crack cocaine to?"

JPOV

"Bella?" I asked nervously. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

It was frightening. She was genuinely puzzled as to why I would be questioning her sanity. Honestly.

"No reason," I mumbled.

"Okay." Then I was nearly knocked over by her hugging me. A little warily, I hugged her back. Then she steeped back. I raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"Telling me. Heck, and for actually coming back. Do you know how depressing it is, being left like that? No fun. No fun at all."

"Oh. Then you're welcome."

She cocked her head to one side. "Want to watch a movie?"

"Shouldn't you be going to sleep?"

"No. I always stay up another couple of hours after I come home from work."

"That's work?"

"Yep. Did you like that song?" she asked, leading me to the lounge room.

I laughed. "Very much. Because it wasn't ironic at all, was it?"

"Nope," she said innocently. "Feel free to look through my movie collection."

I did as she suggested, searching through rows upon rows of DVDs and videos. I shook my head sadly. They were all Disney children's movies, romantic comedies and tear jerkers.

"There're no good movies here."

"Sure there are. It's not my fault you have a crappy taste in film literature. But the ones you're looking for, I had to hide."

"Why?"

"Three year old in the house. I watched Pitch Black with her once, and she had nightmares for a month."

"You own Pitch Black Wow. I am… officially impressed."

She bowed; very overdone and plenty of flourishes. "Glad to hear it. So what are we watching?"

"Well," I used my powers to probe around the house. "Anna is still awake, so nothing too gruesome. You pick something."

"That's helpful," I heard her mutter.

She bent over, looking through the racks. I started breathing a little harder at the sight of her wiggling her butt as she searched. Whoa! Where did that come from? She was my ex-brother's ex-girlfriend. But… then again… she was his ex… Funny; I had never noticed how _gorgeous_ she was while she was with Edward. And her _scent_…

Wait. I recognized that smell. "Have you been to the old house recently?"

She didn't reply, but the waves of guilt and embarrassment clued me in to what the answer was.

I decided to let the matter drop for the moment. Idly, I wondered about why she would go back to Forks, and then gave an involuntary start when she straightened up, a video in her hand.

I took it carefully, and looked at the cover in disbelief. "Mulan?"

"Hey," she said defensively. "I love this movie."

"Fine." I grumbled, sitting down on the couch with my arms folded like a sulky child.

The opening credits rolled past all too slowly for my taste. I managed to zone out the next five minutes but then was snapped back to reality by Bella deciding to sing along to the soundtrack. I just looked at her.

"What?"

"Do you sing to _everything_?"

"Not everything, just most things. There's a song for every occasion. Plus, I'm of the personal opinion that there isn't enough music in life. I figure it's my duty to give a little more."

Shaking my head, I turned back to the movie, beginning to get interested. At least, until the next song came on. Then I closed my eyes and listened. I was a little regretful when the music stopped.

"Okay, you have a point with the whole 'song for occasion' thing."

"Finally, someone who agrees with me."

We kept watching, and surprisingly, once you got past the mushy stuff, it really was a good movie. I even got used to all the characters, and therefore Bella, bursting into song at every opportunity.

So I was pretty surprised when the music started… and no Bella. Glancing over, I saw she'd fallen asleep, sprawled over the other end of the couch. I suppressed a chuckle at the sight, and carried her to bed. This would have been that much easier if I knew where her room actually was.

I settled for opening each door and quickly scoping it out to see if that was the bedroom. Conveniently, none of the doors on the ground floor lead to a bedroom that looked like it would belong to Bella. I continued up the stairs and was a little confused when there were only two doors. I opened one and saw it led to a large and airy room, which was empty except for a stereo on top of a piano, with a guitar resting next to it. The other was her room.

I was surprised. I didn't know what I was expecting, but I was sure this wasn't it. The walls were painted a soothing blue and a large four poster draped in black silks rested on a large dais by the leftmost wall. Another large stereo stood on the bedside table. There wasn't a wardrobe, just a series of shelves and racks across the back wall. There wasn't any colour at that end of the room, except for a few pieces of clothing that were either red or purple. Everything else hanging up or folded neatly was black.

I placed Bella gently down onto the bed, laying the duvet over her. Then I dragged a chair over to her bedside and watched her sleep.


	3. III Never Again

**I just realized i didnt put a disclaimer on the other two chapters, so here goes.**

**DISCLAIMER: If I owned Twilight, wouldn't my name be Stephenie, not Shannon?**

**Now: to answer a question: ButterMilkStar, _did her step mother also die?..like with Charlie?_ A: Yes, she did. **

**Feel free to ask questions Thank you to those who reviewed! Again! Again!**

LOVE YOU JASPER!!

BPOV

I woke up and screamed, sitting bolt upright. A moment later, I was lying back down, clutching my head, whimpering in pain. Jasper's face had been only inches above my own, looking down in concern, and I had collided with him as I shot up.

"Ow." I bit my lip to keep myself from sobbing. I had forgotten how _hard_ vampires were.

"Are you okay?" Jasper asked, leaning over me in the same way that caused all the trouble in the first place. If I didn't know it would hurt me more, I would have hit him then.

"Would I be lying here in agony holding my head if I was okay, Jasper?" I didn't wait for a response, but continued immediately. "Goddamn, you hurt. Why the frigging heck were you leaning over me anyway?"

"You were having a dream. More like a nightmare, actually. I tried to help, but… it didn't work. Guess it was because you were asleep."

"I had a nightmare?" I asked. I hadn't had bad dreams for a long time now; it was demoralizing to think I had lost all my progress. It had taken all my self control and will power to move on.

"Yeah. It was horrible to have to watch and not be able to do anything."

"What was horrible?"

"You started moving around, calling our names, but mostly Edward's. As you moved through them, you got more and more panicky, and started thrashing. I was just about to try to wake you up when you started screaming."

"_Damn_ it! Bloody hell! Jesus H Roosevelt Christ!" I spouted more obscenities than I think even a sailor might have known. On another occasion, I might have been proud. Not this time, though. I was too frigging mad at myself.

"Mommy, those are bad words." I looked to where Jasper was sitting, and saw Anna beside him.

"Sorry, babybat."

"It's okay, mommy. What's for breakfast?"

"Umm," I stalled. I'd only just gotten up. I hadn't even thought about food yet. "Waffles. Yeah, that sounds good. Is that alright with you, babybat?"

"Yes!" she sang. I smiled; I must be rubbing off on her.

I sat up again in bed, and blankly stared at Jasper. I wanted him out so I could get changed, but I didn't want to have to _tell_ him. Things were already awkward enough, what with the whole affair, bonded-by-trauma-sort-of thing going on.

He finally got the message, and left with an "I'm… going to go now." He frowned, trying to come up with an appropriate sentiment. "Does 'have fun' work?"

"As well as anything else." I smiled. With that, he exited my room. My smile faded; I remembered a similar interchange between myself and another Cullen, so long ago.

I dressed with all possible speed; a little worried that Jasper might be getting thirsty and see my sister as a convenient snack.

I darted downstairs and nearly made it without tripping. Key word being nearly. I clapped my hands over my eyes, preparing myself for an intimate encounter with the floor. An encounter that never came.

I peeked through my fingers to see the carpet about two inches from my nose. I felt a little confused. I moved my hands away from my face and stared at the floor quizzically. Was I flying? Weird.

Then I felt something at my waist and looked 'down' to see two pale arms firmly wrapped there. "Oh," I said stupidly. I would have added more, but my breath left me when the two arms released their grip on me and I got to meet the floor after all.

JPOV

I was crouched down in front of the TV in the lounge, looking through the movies there again. I was reading the back of 'She's the Man' when I heard Bella trip. In a flash I was over at the stairs, having caught her before she could become overly acquainted with the navy blue carpet.

My breath caught in my throat. Having her in my embrace just felt… _right_ somehow. I didn't think she felt it, though, as her main emotions were relief and confusion, and she was regarding the carpet with fascination: she obviously didn't notice me there.

I shifted my hold on her slightly, and she looked to where I had her locked in my arms. I heard her say, "Oh." Yeah, that was great for my self esteem. I let go of her and couldn't help feeling a little better at the sight of her splayed out on the floor. I immediately regretted it though, as Anna ran over and started jumping on Bella's back.

"Mommy, mommy! Are you awake yet?"

Bella groaned, and I distinctly heard her mutter "You wish…" before continuing on a louder voice, "Well, if I wasn't before, I most definitely am now.

"Not that this isn't fun and all, with you jumping on my back like your life depends on it, but could you get off me? It's awfully hard to make breakfast when you're stuck on the floor, you see."

Anna giggled. "Silly mommy."

Bella pushed herself up and walked into the kitchen. I moved back to the lounge room and continued reading the descriptions of her favourite movies.

As I finished '10 Things I Hate About You', and placed it back in its place, I could hear Bella singing again. That girl really did have too much music in her. I sat on the couch and listened, reflecting on my situation occasionally. Then I lost myself in the lyrics, the melody, and the passion behind both.

_You've found hope_

_You've found faith_

_Found how fast she could take it away_

_Found true love_

_Lost your heart_

_Now you don't know who you are_

_She made it easy_

_Made it free_

_Made you hurt 'till you couldn't see_

_Sometimes it stops_

_Sometimes it flows_

_But baby, that is how love goes_

_You will fly and you will crawl_

_God knows even angels fall_

_No such thing as you lost it all_

_God knows even angels fall_

_And it's a secret_

_That no one tells_

_One day it's heaven, one day it's hell_

_It's no fairy tale_

_Take it from me_

_That's the way it's supposed to be_

I closed my eyes, and just thought about how true those words were. I didn't realize I was shaking until someone placed their hand on my shoulder. I looked over, and saw it was Anna.

"Are you okay?"

I didn't know how to answer. I sat there, brow furrowed, wondering. Was I okay?

I looked back up into Anna's intelligent gaze. "Yes, I think I am. I'm okay now."

"Food!" Bella yelled, and Anna ran away from me into the kitchen. I walked in after her, and laughed at what I saw. Bella and Anna were wrestling over who would get the maple syrup for the waffles first.

In the end, Bella gave up, as Anna had started biting. She moved back, leaning against the counter, smiling fondly at her… charge. I moved back, leaning against the counter, watching Bella smiling fondly at the aforementioned charge. Every time she beamed at Anna, it was like the sun had broken through the clouds, lighting up my day; my existence.

Then I realized what I was thinking. _You're fighting a losing battle, Jasper. Get a grip on yourself. A girl _this_ perfect? There's no way she'll ever fall for you._

Bella turned away from her not-daughter to make another waffle for herself. Once again, not surprisingly, she burst into song. Raising an eyebrow at her choice, I wondered where this one had come from.

_Everything is fucked up straight from the heart_

_Tell me what do you do when it all falls apart?_

_Got to pick myself up, where do I start?_

_Because I can't turn to you when it all falls apart_

_Don't know where I parked my car_

_Don't know who my real friends are_

_I put my faith in you-_

_What a stupid thing to do_

_And not to mention_

_I'm feeling hung over_

_I need intervention; attention_

_To stop temptation to scream_

_Everything is fucked up straight from the heart_

_Tell me, what do you do when it all falls apart?_

_Got to pick myself up, where do I start?_

_Because I can't turn to you when it all falls apart…_

Anna skipped off out of the room once she finished her breakfast; Bella sat down in the recently vacated spot. I watched with repulsed fascination as she doused her food with maple syrup and dug in.

Unable to control myself any longer, I burst out, "How can you _eat_ that?"

"Well, you put it on your fork, or knife, or whatever kind of culinary utensil you happen to have and you put it in your mouth. You chew on it, and swallow. It's quite easy, once you get used to it. Kind of like riding a bike, except you're eating it."

I rolled my eyes. Three years had done wonders for her self confidence, not to mention her snarky sense of humour. I tried to remember. Had she _always_ been this caustic?

I didn't get a chance to answer, however, as she cut me off.

"So- not that it's a bad thing or anything- but what made you go into the club? I thought vampires couldn't drink."

I did a double take. I wasn't expecting her to ask that. Truth was, I had no idea what had made me go there.

"I was walking past, and… well, I don't know… it was like I was _meant_ to be there; like something had decided for me."

She nodded thoughtfully. "I can understand that."

She could? Funny; I couldn't.

"Next question: Why are you still here?"

"Do you want me to go?"

"Fair enough."

Okay, now I was officially confused. "Wait, what?"

"We have a guest bedroom, if you'd like it. I realize that, technically speaking, you don't sleep, but it's still nice to have a spot to call yours. You want to stay?"

"Umm, sure."

"Then it's settled. Feel free to do whatever you want to it."

"Thank you," I said. And I was genuinely grateful. Now I didn't have to buy a house, giving away where I was, and I could stay closer to this amazing creature that Edward had had and given up. Idiot.

"I have a question or two…" I continued.

"Shoot."

"If Anna isn't your daughter, who is she?"

She laughed at this, although I felt her radiate sadness and grief.

"She's my little sister. After you all… yeah, Charlie had a daughter, and named her Anna, because his partner liked the name, and Bella, after me. So hence, the Annabella, and everyone thinking I'm excessively vain, and/or have no imagination.

"When they got married and went on their honeymoon, Anna had just been born, and I volunteered to look after her, so Charlie and Miranda could enjoy their trip more. The island they were on was flooded, and no one lived. I've looked after her ever since."

"What about your mother?" I asked. Surely they wouldn't have given custody of a baby to a teen.

"At that time, Renee had a huge argument with Phil. Things got violent, and she had to be taken to hospital. She died later from the injuries."

"Bella… I'm so, so sorry." I could see the tears in her eyes, and sent calming waves towards her. I knew they didn't totally help, but she smiled at me anyway.

"Thanks, Jasper. I still miss them all. So, I raised Anna, and she calls me mommy, because I'm the only mother she's ever known. I love my sister. I really do. She… she was what kept me going after Edward left me. What I lived for."

"Speaking of Edward…" I said. I knew it was probably a bad time, but I couldn't help myself. "You have a picture of him on your computer desk."

I could feel anger rolling off her now.

"Don't judge until you know why, Jasper. I keep that picture where it is for a very good reason."

"And what would that reason be?" _Damn boy, get a grip on yourself. It doesn't take an emotio-path to know you're jealous._

"I keep it on my computer desk, so I can see it everyday. I see it everyday so I remember. I remember, so I can remind myself."

"Remind yourself of what?"

"Remind myself to never be so stupid again, that's what."


	4. IV All Of My Memories

**Okay, so here's chapter four. I hope you guys like it, coz it was a pain in the ass to write. I knew where I was coming from, and i knew where I wanted to go, but no bloody clue of how to get it there. Enjoy!**

_August the 23rd, 2007._

BPOV

Five months. Five months had passed since Jasper had reappeared in my life. And my God, I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I lay in bed, pretending to sleep. I was good at that now. It was my time to think. My time and no one else's. It was the only part of my day that I didn't have to cater to anyone else, and I made the most of it.

Jasper's arm was around my waist, holding me close to him. And I wouldn't have had that any other way either. I thought back to when he had first come; about two weeks after he had moved in.

_**Flashback**_

_I was eating waffles with Anna. She put down her fork suddenly, and looked up at me with wide, solemn eyes._

"_Mommy, is Jasper your boyfriend?"_

_I was stunned. I had no idea where the question had come from, and no idea how to answer it. Yeah, I just lived for moments like this._

"_Umm… who told you about boyfriends, babybat?"_

_She looked down again, digging into her momentarily abandoned breakfast. "Mrs. Cheney did. She said Jasper was your boyfriend and that you were really cute. So _is_ he your boyfriend?"_

_I was quiet for a while, thinking it over. Finally, I responded the only way I could._

"_I don't know, sweetie. I really don't know."_

_**End Flashback**_

The day after that, Jasper had taken me out. At my request, he took me to the Forks house, leaving Anna with Angela again, no doubt to discuss my status. I winced involuntarily. I didn't really like remembering that. But it couldn't be helped, right now.

_**Flashback**_

_I walked up the stairs to the front door, standing there dumbstruck, leaning against the frame. I couldn't move. _

"_Nervous?" he asked quietly._

"_N-no. Just a little apprehensive," I answered. He frowned._

"_Doesn't that mean the same thing anyway?" he muttered, so soft I almost missed it. I considered whacking him over the back of the head, but then dismissed it as being more likely to hurt me than him. Stupid vampire._

_I forced myself to move. I reached for the handle, shaking. Opening the door, I gasped. It was if they had never left. Everything was still here. The only difference was that it was all hidden under a good two inches of dust._

_I giggled slightly. Esme would never have let dust inside the house, let alone have a chance to build up this badly. Then I winced, as the pain accompanying that thought lacerated me._

_I moved forwards, into the house I hadn't set foot in since my eighteenth birthday party. Speaking of which, I could see withered rose petals by the foot of the stairs. More pain hit me, and I could feel tears prickling my eyes._

_I wiped them, cursing myself mentally. "And here I was thinking I'd gotten over this. Wrong again, Bells."_

_I kept walking, not really paying attention to where I was going. I was in a daze, as all the memories I had of this house hit me all at once._

"_Bella?" A quiet voice interrupted my reverie. I started, and then grabbed hold of myself._

"_Yes, Jasper?" I called back._

"_I'm going upstairs for a bit. Some things I'd like to see."_

"_Of course. I'll stay here."_

_I looked down. I was standing in front of Edward's piano. I sat, remembering the lullaby he had written for me. I laughed, without feeling any real humour. I could still hum it, pitch perfect._

_I started to play the basic melody, stroking the keys gently. As it moved, I added a harmony, and another, still playing the first melody. I closed my eyes, and lost myself in the music, as I always did. And it brought me peace._

_My lullaby came to an end. Then, eyes still closed, I started another random tune, playing what I felt, putting my emotions to music. It was a sad, melancholy song, but had a hint of anger in it, as well. I smiled sourly. It was perfect. I stopped for a moment, committing the notes to memory. I didn't want to forget it._

_Then I started yet another song, this one even more heart-rending than the first. It had a sweet sound to it, and just listening to it made me want to cry. _

_I broke off suddenly; I had heard a slight sound from behind me. I spun to see what it was, and saw Jasper standing there, arms raised._

"_I'm unarmed," he said jokingly, bringing a laugh to my lips. "That was beautiful," he continued. "All three songs. What are they? I feel like I've heard the first one somewhere before."_

"_You probably feel like you've heard the first one because you _have_ heard the first one. It's… the song _he_ wrote me. And I just made up the other two then."_

"_Ah," he said; a wealth of understanding in his tone. Then, before I could even blink, he was next to me, enveloping me in a hug. And it felt right._

_**End Flashback**_

JPOV

I smiled. It was a nice day today. Then again, in my book, any day with Bella in it was a nice day. Damn, I was in deep.

I tightened my grip around her waist. I knew she was awake now; her emotions clued me in. But I knew her well enough that leaving her alone until she 'officially' woke up would put her in a better mood. She liked to think. I had no idea what about, but if that was what she wanted, that was fine with me.

I thought back to when we first got together. Silly girl; she used _music_, of all things, to tell me. Other girls told friends who told you, or passed notes, or flirted excessively until you got the point. Not Bella.

_**Flashback**_

_After dropping Anna off at Angela's hastily, I drove the two of us to the bar where she worked. Luckily, she didn't own the truck anymore; I recalled Edward telling me how annoyingly slow it went- no more than 60mph tops. _

_Now she drove a nice, sedate BMW sedan. Classy, but understated. Just like Bella._

_I frowned inwardly. I could feel embarrassment radiating from her, but I had no idea why. _

"_Bella?" I asked._

"_Yes, Jasper?"_

"_What the hell have you got to be embarrassed about?" At this, her cheeks stained, but not the red we were used to four years ago, but a soft pink that lightly dusted her bones, setting off her complexion._

"_Umm… nothing?"_

"_Yeah," I said. "I really believe you. C'mon, you can tell me," I continued. I opened my eyes a little wider, trying to 'dazzle' her._

"_Stop that!"_

"_Not until you tell me what has you so mortified."_

_Her reaction to this wasn't what I'd expected; she smirked as we stopped at a light. Turning towards me, she put on an innocent expression and breathed, "How badly do you want to know?"_

"_Pretty badly," I answered. Then, out of nowhere, I leaned over and kissed her._

_She was still for a moment, and I was afraid. Did she not like me like that? Did she only want me because I reminded her of Edward? Was she mentally comparing me to Edward right now?_

_Then she melted. Her arms made their way around my neck, and I felt like punching the air in triumph. I moved back a little, enough to see the red light had turned green; I started to drive. The bar's parking lot was right there, so I found a spot and shut off the engine, never once breaking the kiss._

_Suddenly, Bella pushed me off her; softly, but I couldn't help feeling a little rejected. I didn't realize I was projecting it until she whispered, "I was embarrassed because Angela kept smiling at us together, and keeps telling babybat that… well, never mind."_

_Although she didn't finish the sentence, I could gather what Angela had been telling Anna from Bella's blush, and the way she was determinedly avoiding my gaze._

"_Jasper?"_

"_Yeah, Bella?"_

"_Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl isn't giving that same kiss the attention it deserves, Jasper."_

"_There are a couple of things wrong with that statement, Bella."_

"_Oh? Do tell."_

"_Okay then. Number One: Vampires are different to you humans. We can multitask, remember? So there's nothing wrong with driving and kissing a pretty girl at the same time-"_

"_Yes there is. What if the pretty girl wants all your attention, and not just the half that isn't driving?"_

"_Numero Duo," I said, cutting her off. "Numero Duo: You are more than just a pretty girl. You are an exquisite woman, Bella. Don't forget it."_

"_Speaking of not forgetting things, I have a job I have to do. Shall we?"_

_We walked through the employee entrance. She drifted off into her dressing room, and I went through to the bar itself. I sat at a little table close to the stage, and relaxed._

_Only to sit bolt upright as Bella walked onstage._

_Wow._

_Heck, double wow._

_And just like Edward had complained so many times about that harlot Jessica Stanley doing, I made the one word into three syllables._

_W-o-w._

_She was wearing a short PVC skirt with netting underneath that reached to about three inches below her ass. Her top was much more decent in that it covered anything, but was almost as bad as the skirt in that it looked like someone had painted it on, or wrapped her in fabric and stitched around her. Her heels were five inches and would have been a death wish had she worn them four years ago._

_Like I said. Wow._

_And then she started to sing. I settled back in my seat, closing my eyes to listen better. The lilting sound of her voice captivated me, as it had always done. The way it changed and shifted throughout the melody. The way it made you think, made you wonder what the owner of that beautiful voice had done to be exiled from heaven like she had._

_An unfamiliar song came on, and I frowned a little, trying to place it. I listened. And it became clear._

Take me now, baby, here as I am

Hold me close, try and understand

Desire is hunger; is the fire I breathe

Love is a banquet on which we feed

Come on now, try and understand

The way I feel when I'm in your hands

Take my hand, come undercover

They can't hurt you now, can't hurt you now

Can't hurt you now

_And as she sang, she looked at me, and I could feel my face twist up into a smile. She was right, after all. There really was a song for every occasion._

Because the night belongs to lovers

Because the night belongs to lust

Because the night belongs to others

Because the night belongs to us.

_She'd changed the lyrics. Only slightly- none of the mostly drunk clientele would notice- but I wondered why she'd done it. I pondered it as she finished the song off, exited the stage, moved back to the car, and drove to Angela's house once again._

_As I was about to get out of the car, Bella's hand on my arm stopped me._

"_What? No kiss this time?"_

_I turned back towards her, grinning. "But I was driving. Don't you _want_ the attention you deserve?"_

_**End Flashback**_

I thought over other key moments of my life with Bella. Besides moving in and our first kiss, there were a whole other stack of memories I treasured. Making breakfast for the two women in my life without burning anything. Writing a song for Bella (that I hadn't actually told her about). The first time Anna had called me daddy. That one was probably my favourite of all.

And so we were together. And now I was trying to figure out how to move to the next step. But my thoughts were interrupted by Bella waking proper.

"Good morning," she yawned. I chuckled and kissed her nose.

"How can you be yawning? You've been awake for ages now."

"Well, so sorry to disappoint, but not all of us don't need to sleep, you know."

I hesitated for a moment. But wasn't this what we both wanted? At least, I'd _thought_ she did. Then I spoke.

"Maybe… maybe we all won't."

Her face twisted in confusion. "What the heck?"

I rolled my eyes. "Maybe we all of us won't."

"Still don't understand."

"Maybe not not all of us don't need… no, you're right, this doesn't make any sense." And I was the one presenting the idea.

"Okay, let me try this again. You need to sleep. Which, while still nice to watch, gets a little onerous after a while. But… what would you say to… _not_ needing to sleep?"

"Still a little confused here."

"You wanted it so bad four years ago. Do you still want it now? With… me?"

Her eyes widened in recognition. "You want me to become a vampire?"

**Dun dun DUUUUUN! Oh, it's _sooo_ dramatic. But anyway, continuing on with my little rant from before. I had a whole bunch of little things I wanted to happen, but it didn't seem worth writing out a whole five months for. So I figured this was the best way to do it. But do not worry, dear reader. I actually know where the flipping heck I'm going now! Celebrate! Be happy! And if any of you have suggestions for anything you want to happen, I'll see if I can work it in, and you will be given the vredit, and a large bowl of cyber choc-chip cookies. Hey, it alliterated...**

**Sicerely yours, **

**Lady Destruction.**

**(I read the DArk Hunter Companion, and that's what my pen name means. So you know.)**


	5. V Barely A Shirt

BPOV

BPOV

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He wanted me to become a vampire. He wanted me. And he wanted me enough to spend immortality with me?

A girl could get used to this.

But I found it hard to believe that he, gorgeous, sexy, golden vampire that he was, wanted me. Especially when his gorgeous, sexy, bronze brother didn't, and had told me as much; walking away without looking back.

"Really?" I asked, somewhat breathlessly. I could feel tears pooling in my eyes, and one trickling down my cheek. He reached over and wiped it away.

"Really really," he replied, and suddenly I was laughing; having stupid visions of Shrek and Donkey running through my head.

He looked at me worriedly. I made the effort to stop laughing, and managed to get it down to a couple of giggles with a slight hiccup.

"Sorry. It's not your fault I'm an escaped lunatic."

"Hey, _you're_ not the escaped lunatic. Been there, done that already."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks. 'Cause, that's what every girl just _loves_, being compared to the ex."

He smiled apologetically. "Oops?"

"Think nothing of it. But… I…"

"You…?" Was it just me, or did he sound a little on edge now?

"I… I…" I was messing with him now, was what I.

"You…?" Yeah, he definitely sounded on edge.

"… Would love nothing better," I finished, moving so my forehead rested with his.

"Really?" He asked, relief, surprise and hope all mingled on his face, and in the air, too.

I grinned. "Really really."

"Marry me too? I don't want any room for poachers here."

"You forget I'm not an animal. But what the heck. Marriage is a lot less binding than vampirism. Annoy me enough and I'll just get a divorce."

"Really?"

"Haven't we been through this already?"

"_Yes!_" He shouted suddenly, grabbing me up, spinning with me in circles. Never mind the face that neither of us was actually wearing anything. I mean, why let a little detail like that bother you?

"Hey, Jazz, I'm happy too, but please, let me get dressed!"

He pouted. God, but he was cute when he did that. I just smiled and crossed me arms, waiting for him to put me down.

"Alright, alright…" he grumbled. I made my way to the back of my room and randomly grabbed some clothing. I didn't bother checking to see what it was before I put it on. Looking down at myself, I grinned evilly. I could have some fun with this…

I sauntered down the stairs and into the kitchen, twirling slowly as Jasper stared.

"What the _hell_ are you wearing?"

I smiled innocently. "A dress," I answered him truthfully. It was, although I supposed it was a technical difference.

He looked at me disbelievingly. "That… is not a dress. That's barely even a shirt, Bella."

"Okay, so it's a little short. Don't you like it?"

"Hey, did I say that?"

"You were thinking it."

"I thought Edward was the mind reader."

"He won't be once I get my hands on him."

With this, I turned on my heel and walked into the laundry room, Jasper following close behind.

"You don't get out of this conversation that easily, milady."

I batted my eyelashes at him. "And what were we talking about, pray tell?"

He thought about it for a few moments, and appeared to have forgotten. I smiled to myself and turned back to the laundry I'd neglected. The sight of all those clothes must have sparked his memory.

"We were talking about your lack of decent clothing."

"So you _don't_ like it."

"I do! But so will the rest of the male population!"

I frowned. "I wasn't planning on going anywhere."

"You are now."

"So where am I going?"

"_We,_" he emphasized, "are going shopping."

"And what are we shopping for, good sir?"

He ducked his head to avoid my gaze, staring at his feet. I raised an eyebrow at this un-Jasper like behaviour.

"Well, I was thinking… if you'd like, I mean… we could look for a nice ring…"

I was struck silent for a moment at the generosity of this statement. Obviously he mistook my sudden quiet for something else.

"But if you don't want to… well, that fine too, I gue-"

"I'd love to. When do we leave?"

We arrived home a few hours later; one ring up (plus various unknowns), and a couple thousand dollars down. Jasper refused to let me see what was in the bags, going so far as to request plain black bags so I couldn't recognize brand names. When we came in, he ran off at vampire speed to hide them somewhere I couldn't get at.

"That's cheating!" I called after him, knowing perfectly well he'd hear me, no matter how quietly I spoke.

"Your point being?" He called back.

I rolled my eyes and went back to admiring my new ring.

Beautiful and intricate without being extravagant, it was a large princess cut diamond, set in white gold surrounded by other smaller diamonds and onyx. I had fallen in love with it on sight and Jasper being Jasper, had insisted on getting it, despite the ridiculous price.

I smiled up at my new fiancée as he walked in. Now all we had to do was break the news to Anna.


	6. VI Instantly Regrettable

**Holy fuck. Just twelve hours after I post my little apology, a mere twelve hours, I check my email. What do I find? _Thirty six_ reviews, story alerts, fave story alerts, and fave author alerts. Holy fuck. If I'd known that was what it took to get a great response, I would have threatened you all earlier…**

**I'm so sorry. I meant to post this before I left, but I had to get up at four in the morning to leave, so hopefully, the saner of my readers can understand why it was postponed. Count yourselves lucky, I only got back today, and I am exhausted.**

**Note. If I don't like how this chapter turns out, I'll probably post it, then replace it soon as I can. Just so that's understood…**

_September the 10__th__, 2007._

Burning.

That was all I felt.

Flames licking their way along my veins. Brands held against my skin. Being ripped apart slowly, overheated sinews parting. I was dying, slowly and very, very, painfully, and no one was doing a thing about it.

I must have been crazy to have wanted this. Mental. A basket case. Well and truly insane.

So, why in the name of all that was holy, had I asked Jasper to do this?

Right as I thought this, I had my answer.

_Jasper._

I focused on the melody that formed his name, the way the word rippled off of my tongue like the holiest of prayers. The way the syllables flowed over my lips as if born to be there. My saving grace, one of only two things, or rather people, I was living for now.

Thinking about him, and only him made the searing agony back off, just a little.

I pictured his face, and the pain relented a tiny bit more.

Time passed. I had no clue how long; I was a little preoccupied with the massive ache that was me.

Something had changed. I couldn't figure out what it was. Then I clued in.

A small sound penetrated my pain-hazed world. Reflexively, I turned my head towards it and concentrated.

Immediately, it grew clearer, louder, far more piercing. It was a high pitched ticking, relentlessly pounding.

Another sound demanded attention. A low pitched whine, vibrating at the base of my skull. As I turned to where it originated, another series of noises started.

I moved away from them, seeking to protect my now sensitive ears, but that just increased the sounds. I whimpered.

And flinched as the small hum caused far more hurt than anything had a right to.

I held myself very very still, avoiding all movement for fear of losing what little self control I had. If I lost it now, I would scream, and be unable to stop no matter how much my ears begged me to. Seeking to drown out the ticking and the whine, I concentrated on another sound, much more constant, one that I knew, without a doubt, was a sign of my impending death.

My heartbeat.

Frenzied, frantic, frenetic. I was surprised my heart wasn't leaping straight out of my chest, it was so stressed out. As I listened, I could not only feel, but hear it speed up, measure by measure, each beat just a little closer together. As I noticed this, I felt the relentless blaze move from my fingertips and retreat up my fingers. The blissful cool reached my wrists.

Unfortunately, the flames at my speeding heart only rose.

The cold reached my elbows. I could feel my legs painlessly. The inferno at my chest heightened accordingly.

Everywhere up to my shoulders and hips was numb, wonderfully so, but the remaining conflagration beneath my skin was fast reaching an unbearable point.

Soon, the only flame to be felt was my soon-to-be-still heart, beating spastically to make up for all the years it never would.

I screamed, and immediately wished I hadn't.

Then it stopped.

No heartbeats.

No flames.

Nothing.

I moved to get up, and winced as my joints clicked. It was so loud, so excruciatingly _loud_.

When I came back to myself, I was curled up in a little ball on the floor, not moving, not thinking, not _breathing_. I didn't want to do anything to set off my heightened senses again.

Sadly, what I wanted didn't seem to be taken into consideration. Jasper walked in, making an insufferable racket.

The sensitivity scared me. I could hear _everything_, literally.

Every step Jasper took, I heard his shoe make contact with the floor.

I heard the floor shift slightly under his weight.

I heard the bones and muscles in his foot contract and rub against each other.

I heard the fabric of his jeans rustle.

I heard the measured sound of his breathing, his lungs expanding, the slight groan of his ribs.

I heard every damned blink the man made, for god's sake.

Then, in one moment, he managed to shatter the precarious silence, my haven.

"Bella?"


	7. VII Earplugs AND Earmuffs?

_13__th__ of September, 2007_

JPOV

I fidgeted nervously as I sat outside the small house in northern Canada I had rented for Bella's change. I thought it was best to keep her out of public scrutiny until she had a handle on the whole 'vampire' thing, as well as any powers she may have. I smiled slightly to myself. Of course Bella would have a power. How could someone as special as her not?

I cocked my head, listening to any signs of activity in the house. Anna wouldn't make any noise, as she was visiting 'daddy's friend's', the Denali clan. I frowned. There wasn't _any_ noise coming from inside. No heartbeats, no movement, nothing. I took that as my cue to go in, wondering all the while why she wasn't moving.

I walked through the door, and watched in confusion as Bella curled up marginally tighter in a ball.

"Bella?"

She whimpered a little, then hissed. She looked like she was in massive amounts of pain.

"Bella? What's wrong?"

I couldn't distinguish her reply.

"Bella, I… I can't hear you." The first time those words had been spoken since I'd been turned.

This time, I could faintly make out the words "Too… loud…"

"Too loud?" I repeated incredulously.

"Shut up!"

The words were stronger this time.

Slightly confused, I made my way to one of the bags, in which was a pair of earplugs. I tossed them to her, surprised at the haste she pulled them out of the packet and shoved them in her ears. Then she rose off of the floor and moved with a silence that astounded me to a closet just inside the door where she pulled out earmuffs. She then slipped them over the earplugs and gave a sigh of relief.

"Oh my fucking God, that feels so much better."

I gave her an odd look, raised an eyebrow and motioned for her to explain.

She huffed impatiently. "I can hear _everything_, you dolt. It's driving me stark, raving nuts. I didn't even think half of the stuff I heard had a noise."

I looked at her in shock. It was obvious that this was a power, but that it developed so early and so strongly was almost unheard of. I remembered getting my powers, how moody I would be, but it was never so bad that I felt the need to _remove_ the root of my gift.

I took her hand in mine gently, leading her to the extensive forest behind the house. Upon reaching the perimeter, I released her, covered her eyes, and told her to listen. She smiled, tilting her head. A instant later she was off, not into the forest, but along the edge towards the main road. I was uneasy, getting more worried with each passing moment, I could smell humans.

As I rounded the curve of the trees, I saw that very _last_ thing I wanted: a bleeding human, and Bella. I struggled to control myself as I ran to where she was, fully prepared to yank her away, and carry her home if necessary. But what I saw next floored me.

"Are you all right?" she asked the human gently, binding up his slashed arm with a strip of material ripped from the bottom of his shirt.

"Yeah. I don't know what it was, but some giant _bear_ thing just ran out into the middle of the road. Threw me off my bike."

"A giant bear thing?" she asked, eyes wide. I could almost hear her thoughts; we weren't that far from La Push. Barely over the border. T-that's… unexpected."

"That's for sure," the guy interrupted.

Bella continued like he hadn't spoken. "-You'll be alright now, I hope?"

"Yeah, thanks again, lady."

Bella stood in a daze, blank-faced, staring off into the distance.

"Bella?" I asked quietly.

"Huh? What?"

"Are you… okay? Not… thirsty or anything?"

"No, not at all," she said as if she didn't realize the significance of this development. Actually, knowing Bella, she didn't.

Her eyes widened in shock as she put two and two together. "B-but he was bleeding! What the hell?" Suddenly she was overjoyed. "This means I can see Anna!" And she was in my arms, squeezing the (admittedly non existent) life out of me.

"Yeah. So… let's go hunt, yeah?"

"Sounds good."

And with that, we were both running into the trees.

BPOV

I wrinkled my nose as I finished the caribou I had taken down. It was _disgusting._ I hadn't liked the scent of the human much. It didn't do much to take the edge off my thirst either.

Jasper noticed my frown and laughed. "I know. It takes a bit of getting used to. But the carnivores taste better, because they're more like humans."

He must have felt my doubt. "Come on, it's not that bad."

"Yes it was," I protested. "Kind of like voluntarily drinking way too much cherry cough syrup."

He stared at me like I was insane. Which I very probably was, but he didn't have a problem with it before, so why now?

"No, it's not," he said like I was three.

"Yes, it is," I said mockingly like he was two. Even slower then three.

"Okay then… that's different. Let's try a carnivore, shall we?"

I rolled my eyes good naturedly and gestured for him to lead on.

"Well _that_ was fun," I said sarcastically, somewhat cranky from the burn in my throat.

Jasper half pouted, half scowled. "Trust you to be the freaky, unfeedable vampire," he said.

I sat on a log and leaned back against the tree it had fallen by. "Since we're here, you may as well hunt, Jazz. I don't want you trying to eat my sister."

"Yeah, whatever. Like I would. That'd get me on your bad side. What good would come from that?"

I grinned. "Shoo! Begone! And take your icky animals with you!"

I looked around me with interest, taking in where we were as he left. It was a beautiful place, really. The snow glittered where it lay on the ground in the pale moonlight, the soft murmur as it fell still audible through the earplugs and muffs.

A snapping of a twig brought me back to reality. The sky had lightened imperceptibly. The snow had stopped falling. The birds were beginning to twitter with the promise of an impending dawn. And Jasper had returned, smelling infinitely better that Edward ever had.

I felt my mouth begin to water. He smelled so _good_, so _sweet_. It hit me then: this was the insane bloodlust I was to expect from humans. Hah. I never do anything the easy way, do I?

I didn't realize I had moved until I was straddling him on the ground, my teeth in his neck.

**Oooh, cliffie! Something to give me incentive to write when I have assignments hanging over my head. Okay people, review! Review! The longer it takes for you to review, the more time i have to perfect my next chapter (not that it will be) before it gets posted! **


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